I'm sitting here

I’m sitting here

Full of vegetables

A slither of salmon

A bigger slither of blue cheese

Satisfying

Yes.

I have a room right at the end of the building

I like privacy

Its like no one else exists here

Sometimes I see someone walk by with a camera

Or a bike cycling to nowhere and back

Sometimes a tiny bird, is it a finch?

Today I had three cups of coffee and two cups of tea

Finnish coffee is good

Tastier somehow

I sit at my desk looking out over the soft brown meadow

I know that something will happen

Though I don’t know what

"Start with where you are at"

So I take a large mouthful of vegetables… cold now

And I start where I am at.

I came thinking I’d be done with that.

You know.

The dissertation

The PhD.

But it has a habit of holding on.

Tightly holding every cell

Every single cell is resonating with

Home and bloody belonging

Why do I come half way around the world

In search of home and belonging?

Perhaps there is a strong reason.

Perhaps it's because the Finns are known for their reticence.

Their quiet ways of being in the world.