Getting to know ourselves in relation to others
I have been conducting multiple workshops recently, focusing on group dynamic and group process, approaching in a way that is ‘slant’: inviting the investigation to evolve out of seemingly simple tasks such as drawing a self-depiction, an obstacle, a goal, and seeing what emerges. When we switch from our preferred art form to another lesser-known one, we allow new information to arise, sidestepping learned behaviour. For example, often actors feel more comfortable moving on the floor as they interrogate or investigate a concept, with a finely tuned kinesthetic response. Or they may prefer talking, due to a highly developed auditory sense. Instead, I invite them to draw. By allowing the pen to do the work, we concretize the problem at hand. We can witness what we have drawn and unpack levels of meaning together.
In yesterday’s workshop, we used this exercise to get to know each other. We discovered that we had similar obstacles that tended to thwart our progress. This obstacle turned out to be the self (we were our own worst enemy) and it provided comfort and a sense of connectedness when the group shared their understandings of their own, and then each others’ depictions.
This led us towards the concept of self-care, perhaps an overused description of what we think we should do to turn up as the best version of ourselves and get out of our own way. I think self-care can be something that we can share. I prefer to call it ‘selves care’ (see my Arts Hub article Margi Brown Ash talks about selves care on the touring circuit).
The main points I discuss in the above article include exercise, eating good food, and finding spiritual nourishment. Dr. Nicole LePera (2022) in her book How To Meet Your Self, talks about an ‘Authentic Needs Pyramid’ and suggests that apart from our physical needs we need to meet our emotional and spiritual needs. She suggests our physical needs include nutrients, movement, and oxygen; our emotional needs require safety, support, connection, and interdependence (one of my favourite words) and spiritual needs require purpose, play, imagination, and creativity. I would add to our spiritual needs a formal spiritual practice such as Rituals of Practice, the framework I use in my workshops and in my own life so that we turn up as the best version of ourselves at the same time as doing our best work. Having a spiritual practice, including rituals such as yoga, meditation, breathwork, and mindful walking, helps us create our life’s purpose and moves us toward a creative future. We give ourselves time to ‘be’ rather than constantly ‘doing’.
One of the interventions I use has been borrowed from Yoga Nidra, specifically from Richard Miller’s iRest, a Yoga Nidra for the heart. He believes it is important to understand where we stand before we begin Yoga Nidra, and suggests three check-ins. What is your intention? What is your heartfelt desire? What is your inner resource?
When we ask these three questions, we get an idea of what is going on inside us. Why are we here? What is the quality or thing that gets us up in the morning? What builds our strength when things get tough? Growing these ideas can help us stay grounded, and grow the realization that we are far more resilient than we thought we were. To find out more about these three steps, read https://www.irest.org/blog/community-nondualism/expanding-our-understanding-heartfelt-desire-and-its-important-purpose