…there is a lostness in me until…
Today. 30th August 2022.
I am unsure where I took this photo…but it feels right to place it here, with many thanks to the artist. There is balance, and at the same time a tension…and it is the tension that I am feeling, but now there is something supporting that tension. And there is a blue sky. Blue Sky thinking. There she goes.
We have been in a world of discomfort for many years now, and the most discomfort I have felt for such an extended amount of time is this COVID time. We are now well into our third year of COVID. I think of my parents and their generation, who had to deal with the depression and world war two, both worldwide events that changed the world irrevocably in so many ways.
Is this any different?
I am not sure, but at 4 am this morning I scrolled through Twitter and found a post that has profound consequences for all of us if we would let it.
Dr David Berger is a prolific twitterer, and some think he is over the top, others like his posts and find them useful and informative. I fall into the latter category. For me he is the voice of reason, continually offering ways forward.
The tweet I read at 4 am was a retweet from six months ago. He writes 13 hours ago that “we are no nearer to accepting that reality has irrevocably changed”. And then he retweets a long thread about three life experiences that have helped him (and consequently his readers) understand and find ways of dealing with the implications of this pandemic. He believes we need to recognise that reality has irrevocably shifted. The three experiences are profound, the first one being his mother and grandparents escaping Berlin in 1938. He writes “Reality changed overnight…from wealthy bourgeoisie to destitute refugees. The second one was his experience as a doctor dealing with a deteriorating patient, and every part of him screaming “I don’t want this. It can’t be happening” and finally his experience of being a pilot, “something goes wrong and the strongest feeling of denial, of pushback, comes over me like a tidal wave: “This is not happening”.
These three stories prepared him for the here and now. The world of COVID. He goes on to say that the pandemic has changed our reality. There is no turning back to 2019, no matter how much we wish for it. We need to get over “this cannot be happening” and turn up to the new and changed reality.
This post has had a profound effect on me. It has opened my eyes to freedom. As I write the word ‘freedom’ I am shocked, for the world of COVID appears to have taken away our freedom, (at least for some) but in accepting this profound shift in our world, there is a freedom to create a new way of being. Perhaps we have to let go of the old ways. Some of us will continue to do what we did three years ago, and then some of us will see this as a time to morph into something that is more appropriate for them. And perhaps the world.
It is now 4.47 am, and I am feeling energetic, despite my lack of sleep last night. The second cup of coffee will happen soon, perhaps a drawing, (I’ve been working with the Gestalt Art Therapy Centre the last few weeks, and have found it transformative…www.arttherapygestalt.com) as I move closer to forgiving myself for thinking that we can return to normal. No, it is time to return to our new normal, whatever that may look like.
Today it looks like yoga, wonderful, patient, loyal yoga. It looks like connection with my grandchildren. It looks like a writing session focusing on the challenging and creative commission Stace Callaghan and I are working on. It looks like walking with my son’s dog. It looks like an orange, sweet and soothing. It looks like it is a worthwhile and nurturing day.
